One of the most asked questions from women of Transgendered partners is "Will I be viewed as a lesbian now?" This is one of those tricky questions that has more than one answer, and I'll try to address it as best as I can.
What some people always get confused is that gender and sexuality are two very different, very seperate things
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Now, society views these two things as very binary, very cut and dried...example: If a man and a woman are in a sexual relationship, they are viewed as heterosexual. A man and another man together are viewed as gay, and a woman and another woman are viewed as lesbian. Unfortunately, society doesn't allow for any other variable. THANK YOU FOUNDING FATHERS!! (apparently, there were no Trans-folk at the writing or signing of the Constitution....or maybe there were...who knows...perhaps things may have been a wee bit different today, eh?)
If you base your relationship on what catagory society says you should be placed in, then yeah, your going to be viewed pretty much as being in a lesbian relationship...but this too is depending what stage of Trans you partner is...obviously, if your spouse/partner is 'just a crossdresser' your not going to have as much a problem with this than a woman who has a pre-operative OR post-operative Transsexual as a partner.
AND!! You have to remember!!! This is how society is viewing you...you know SOCIETY, right? That omnipotent enigma that is constantly sticking it's Pinnochio nose into everyone's business...and I say "Pinnochio" because it is bad bad BAD until some influential members of "SOCIETY" are doing it, then it is OK...as long as you follow THEIR rules. Ah, you just gotta love that, eh?? NOT!!
So, if you base your relationship on what catagory society says you should be in, then yes, you and your T* spouse/partner are in a lesbian relationship-two women who, among other things, are having a sexual relationship, and who are presenting in public as two women. Of course, the latter may not be a truism for you if you don't go out in public with your partner while s/he is expressing his "femme" persona. As long as you remember that this is how others are seeing you, people who really don't matter too much to you personally, are seeing you.
Here is where it gets real confusing, though...
TO BE CONTINUED...
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